Gone are the days where men were the sole providers of their families. The nuclear family is dead and gone...While we still have a few nuclear families left, most of the families are not all nuclear, we have half siblings,step siblings,step parents and all. For some we are raised by single parents and extended families due to circumstances beyond our control.
Ladies now work high paying jobs just like men to sustain their families and while girl power is taking the world by storm some of the male population is switching the roles by being dependent on women.
Before I proceed any further let me define chivalry:
1st def: the medieval principles governing knightly conduct.
2nd def: very polite, honest, and kind behavior, especially by men towards women.
3rd def:The combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, namely courage, honor, courtesy, justice, and a readiness to help the weak.
The way I see it both genders are equally to blame. We live in a world where people have turned to using others for their own benefits. While guys have turned to serenading a lady just to get into her pants,ladies also agree to go on stupid dates with a guy they don't even like to score a free meal in a fancy restaurant just so they upgrade their social status and some ladies have taken it upon themselves to chase around men they want, I am talking about the very same sisters who complain how their man never spoil them and all. Sister how do you expect a man you pursue to spoil you?You asked him out remember?? And some women give it up on the first date, gosh whatever happened to to self worth..Just because he bought you dinner and flowers doesn't mean he is a keeper. Dig deeper know his real intentions and test his ability to commit before you give it up. Ain't nothing wrong with abstainence. Don't sell your soul over a pair of heels or those expensive dinner he takes you to, you are priceless.
Back in the days guys used to be genuinely nice and kind but society has made the "bad-boy act" so acceptable that the nice guy is not nice anymore he is labeled as the "the player,the smooth talker, the ladies man". And some guys put up with the nice guy act just to get what they want from a lady.
Worst part about this is most assume that a gentleman is a guy that is chivalrous to his lady , no-no-no-no-no a REAL gentleman takes his sisters out shopping, pays for his mum's spa treatment not only his girlfriend in other words he takes care of all the women in his life. I personally am self dependent because I was raised by a single mom, she taught me that one does not need a man to get things done around the house but that does not mean she wanted to live without a man, she just worked with what she had while waiting for her prince charming.
Despite my self-dependence I too want to find a real man who will give me the power to be a house wife (seriously I don't want to wake up everyday and go to the office) because he can provide for our family. Because he knows that even though I can provide for myself I do not need to, as he is there. For I am his rib, his number one fan, his baby, his female hitler, his sweet heart. (Lemme not get carried away here L.O.L)
Men of this century have somehow got it into their heads that women who are independent emasculate them while the real truth is they are intimidated by their success. An independent lady pays her own bills because she does not have a real man to do that and until a real man comes along she will not stop. All women really want is a guy that gets them, the type that says "hey I know you can afford to buy yourself dinner but let me do it for you because I am your man" mark my words "Your man" . N.B a real man does not go around buying every girl he meets dinner. He finds the one lady he fancies and then spends time with her hoping to get to know her more.
The social media era also has totally turned the tables around, instead of taking a girl out on a date and try to get to know her a guy would rather stay up till late going through her pictures and blowing up her inbox with messages telling her how "hot" she is. And because she lives in the society where beauty is quantified by the amount of likes she gets on her pictures she does not realize that she is being objectified instead she texts her B.F.F telling her about the cute guy thats in-boxing her.
On the other hand men easily objectify women with their sexist attitude, they wink and wolf whistle when a beautiful lady passes by and the idea sits well with them. They drool at a woman like she is a piece of meat and make explicit remarks without hesitation. Women on the other hand graciously perceive these remarks as modern complements. There is a huge difference between a real compliment and a back hand compliment. Ladies its ok to want a man that takes care of you and that does not make you a gold digger, guys that only want to go out with independent women are just broke ass immature boys who don't want to spend a single penny instead they want to live in a fancy house,drive a fancy car,wear fancy clothes and eat free food paid for by an independent lady.
Perhaps self-dependence somehow is abused?Men are at the controls of a very strong puppeteer they act nice they are told its an act and when they act bad they are all called dogs. You can never get it right. Chivalry isn't the same to all of us.My own definition of chivalry is the act of a gentle man and a lady to work together towards a common goal and that is creating an environment which suits them both without exploiting each other.
Ladies and Gents times have changed and chivalry is not dead it just evolved.Men can now relax a bit because they trust their partner is strong enough to cope with or without them and we as ladies should not spoil guys in order to receive love in return, remember he is not your son but your man. A real guy will see the need to take care of you even though you can do so yourself. A real man will have the audacity to ask you out on a real date and get to know you better. Its that simple.!!!!!
Happy reading!! :) Am always watching :)
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Thanks for sharing this wonderful blog, being self-dependent is like an antidote to all your real-life problems. What’s better to have flexibility in your hands and be ‘aatm nirbhar’ in terms of everything, do read some tips on how to be aatm nirbhar.
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